Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The year is 1926, and Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) has just completed a global excursion to find and document an extraordinary array of magical creatures. Arriving in New York for a brief stopover, he might have come and gone without incident, were it not for a No-Maj (American for Muggle) named Jacob, a misplaced magical case, and the escape of some of Newt's fantastic beasts, which could spell trouble for both the wizarding and No-Maj worlds.

I wanted to love this movie, I really really did, however, I found myself extremely disappointed in it.  When they first announced this movie I was so excited. I love Harry Potter, I love Eddie Redmayne, and I love movies set in the 1920s! What could go wrong? Johnny Depp A weak plot line and an unfortunate choice in artistic direction. It pains me that my first really negative review is going to be for something that is part of one of my favorite franchises. 

Newt Scamander, played by Eddie Redmayne, just arrived in New York City for the first time when everything goes wrong.  He loses one of his magical beasts who is robbing a bank, performs magic in front of a muggle (or a "no-maj" in this movie), and is caught by an ex-auror. There is also a fanatic woman who is trying to convince people that witches are real and are causing disasters in New York and is using a child army to further her cause. There was also some guy who was jealous that his older brother would be taking over his father's newspaper company? That I didn't really understand why it had to do with anything. 

The plot is beyond weak.  It was both highly predicable and made no sense at the same time. They also tried to make the movie super dark and edgy.  There was no color in the movie. I honestly didn't care for any of the characters and I can't even tell you the girls names.  They were just "Newt" "Muggle" "Blonde" "Brunette" "Colin Farrell" and "President". In my head. I honestly didn't even bother trying to remember the people part of the 'anti-witch' brigade.  They honesty just made Americans out to be really horrible people, both muggles and wizards.  Which made me sad. I did really enjoy every moment with the magical creatures. I felt those were, well, fantastic.  They were magical and fun and what I wanted this movie to be about.  Instead the creatures were thrown on a back burner as a sub-plot. 

Now I'm going to tell you how I would have done this movie differently, spoilers ahead.  One. Drop Johnny Depp. I do not want to watch a movie franchise staring Johnny Depp. Nope. Make Eddie Redmayne the main actor. Next, cut out the horrible anti-witch "Second Salem" crap. It was horrible, also made zero sense. Ezra Miller deserves better, and so does Colin Farrell. I wouldn't want this movie to be dark.  This can be a fun, lighthearted story.  I would give it a golden book feel.  I want the magic to be wonderful and new again, not old. Having the muggle, Jacob, was a great addition because we could see the wonder and aw through him.  However, with the dark and gloomy feel the movie had throughout I didn't get to experience that through him. And as much fun as it was seeing all the creatures wreck havoc in NYC, I want to see Newt looking for and discovering new magical creatures in America. I want adventure and learning. I don't want to see American wizards killing children and saying it's for the good because they are fighting an evil British wizard.  As my friend said, I want The Great Gatsby with Witches and Wizards.

And knowing that Johnny Depp is going to be a major player in the next movie has completely turned me off from it.  I honestly do not think I will be going to see the next four films.  It is not nearly as bad as the script for The Cursed Child, but Jo (I love you but) I think you should stick to writing books.  Scripts are just not your strong suit. Now give me a prequel series about the Marauders! Haha!

Are there any movies you wish you could change because they just weren't want you were expecting them to be at all?